Everything sucks i want to die. Nobody wants to be my friend and I don't know what I did wrong. Everyone is angry with me and they say they never want to speak to me again. What the fuck did I do? Screw them, other than that life just sucks in general. I just want to cry. My idiot boyfriend deleted my hard drive on my computer so I can't connect to the internet using my cable connection, and this error message pops up telling me to please contact my service provider, so the logical thing to do would be to call my service prodiver- Time Warner! Right? Well according to my mother the correct thing to do would not be to call the service provider, as the computer is telling me to do, but instead my mom wants me to take it back to the computer store? What the fuck! She told me atleast 972 times to take it to the store, but why should I pay someone else, they're probably just going to call the service provider themselves- like the computer says. She's driving me insane, I told he to stop, I was crying and screaming and cursing and she just kept telling me to take it to the store and I warned her I was gonna snap and I did, and I threw my cellphone at the wall so hard that it severed the cord at the earpiece. Well my new phone is here now so no harm done. Except a little piece of my sanity slipping away. I'm not hungry at all even though I haven't eaten anything yet today, but it's only 1 pm so it's still really early. I'm understandably so depressed with everything going on and I really just want to go downstairs to the diner and eat and eat and eat. I want a ham bacon and american cheese omellette with a side of bacon and home fries, lots of seasoning salt, pepper and ketchup, and a huge glass of milk. I think I have an egg in the refrigerator but it's way too early to eat still, if I eat now it will just make me really hungry later and then I'll end up bingeing and I certainly think I did enough throwing up last night. Oooh, I still have an orange, I could go get some fruit and make a fruit salad, but if I try to go out I know that I'll end up eating. I'm going home next week so I wanna be nice and thin, I want my belly to be nice and flat for my boyfriend. I just feel better, cuter when I weigh less, I have this cute little springy walk and I just feel so comfortable in my skin and my body. I know that it refects big time in my self-confidence. I hope to be thin enough by Christmas so I don't really have to worry about what I eat at holiday dinners, a d when I'm with my boyfriend there's absolutely no mention of calories or diets, we order pizza, go out to eat, go to steakhouses, chinese food ALL the time, but I think I work off those calories when I'm with him too, god we have some hot sex. I don't think that he would find me as attractive if I voiced all of my insecurities, it would probably get old after a while. Besides, there's no point in drawing his attention to all of my flaws, I'd rather have him focus on how gorgeous I am.