I woke up this morning, well, every hour this morning because I lost my cell phone last night and therefore had no alarm clock. Instinctively I woke up every hour so that I wasn't late, but I was. I woke up at 7:30, I'm supposed to get up at 7. That didn't matter, maybe the fact that I was hungover was the reason behind my tummy-ache, probably. By the time I got to the subway station I was already 50 minutes later than not too late. Then I realized that I didn't have my wallet, that means no money, no metrocard, no i.d., that means that I can't get into school, but I was lucky to find $4 in my pocket which buys me a round trip fare. Luckily one of my friends bought me breakfast. Then I went to type a paper and as I was finishing and trying to save it to me flash drive and error message came up and told me that it was closing the file-date not saved. Mother of a Bitch Fucker! Screw the fucking world. Oh, and by the way, don't ever even think of trying to take intro to music at CCNY unless you've already taken english. They won't let you take anything unless you've already taken english. Then why the hell didn't they put me in english last semester. They're retarded for sure. Then I went to see the school doctor for anxiety attacks and got a little upset, apologized and she wrote me xanax. I shouldn't have told my boyfriend, he got pissed about it and totally made me feel like a junkie, then he apologized, but it was so cute because I was on the train for 2 hours and my cell phone doesn't work on the train(I found it this morning) so I didn't know and he was upset because he thought I was mad and was leaving me the sweetest messages. I'm actually kinda glad it happened because it reassures me that he is still into the relationship even though we only see eachother at best a few times a month. I love him so much.

I spent so much time trying to convince the school doctor that I wasn't depressed and now I am so totally depressed. Irony sucks. This is the last week of classes and then I have two exams but really only one and like five or six papers. I want to go home.

I don't really have any opinions today other than life sucks, I just want to lie here and get high. I think I better bring this to a close, soon.
I finished my doomed paper and decided to take my pocker change and go to the corner stand and purchase a hotdog before they closed, but sure enough they went home early today, fuck you, school food sucks, fuck school food, fuck school. On top of that it was just fucking cold. I think the whole day can be summed up by the imagery of me walking down the hill, 3 like avenue blocks to the subway station and since I had lost one of my $100 leather gloves I was trying to hide my hands inside my jacket while simultaneously smoking a cigarette. But it was too cold even for a cigarette to stay lit and the air I was inhaling even when it was lit was still cold and brittle. I once wondered what it was like to live in the arctic and now I believe I know. Just passing the piles of snow remind me of ice bergs. I envision us all as little penguins waddling about through the ice on our naturnal missions. Yes, I know that I just invented that word, who cares? Anyway, as I walked through the cold down the hill attempting to smoke I thought to myself that this would have been the perfect day to stay home. I was right, too bad I never listen to myself. Oh very soon. Oh very soon. Praise the lord oh very soon. I want to go home.